Loss is really a state of scenario where we do not just shed something or someone, we lose a part of ourselves at the event and resulting process; the individuality goes through deconstruction, which overhaul, for the lucky ones, is the genesis of reformation.
It is because inside the brain – the conscious mind – there are like seven rooms, with distance, for consideration, for cognition, for imagination, for attribution, for communication, for difficulty. The subconscious mind escapes in sleep and carries us off into a dream the reverse of nightmares, and that’s why we can’t confront the first waking moment in despair – when we could wish for anything but sense. However, it’s the conscious mind that we are interested in, for the conditions of memory.
If there are seven rooms, the notional complete image of a conscious mind able to do all the tasks we expect it to, a few of those rooms are completely occupied from the stress implicit of despair. A number of them are partially full with a convoluted, confused mixture of advice designed to confound us readily. (These are the very same conditions someone with sleep deprivation encounters.)
A large portion of the problem for people who grieve who are elderly is the distress within the notion that’s Alzheimer’s disease – the commonest dementia. Sharp and cavernous despair can mimic dementia, at least persons unqualified to evaluate it, who fear such a ‘could-it-be’ diagnosis. And we know that there’s early onset dementia, so the fact that we can develop it at any age means anybody experiencing the memory shortages outbound of reduction can feel threatened – that further exacerbates stress, adding stress to the already crowded lodging facility in our mind. Small wonder we could feel confounded.
It’s great to know there is a reason loss impacts memory during despair, since it explains it that significant stress inhibits your mind. Acknowledging stress helps us understand we best go gently, not expecting too much, even expecting the mental, Centurian, psychological and spiritual limitations we face. Thankfully grief doesn’t restrict memory permanently.